Some Other Stuff: Sex Sells … Everything?

Sex Sells

Has anyone else noticed the absurd use of well-endowed bikini-clad chicks in all sorts of web-based advertizing? And I don’t mean for porn or psuedo-porn sites. Or even anything remotely related to nekked people, the things nekked people do, and services and sites you could argue would benefit from a bit of skin (like fashion, I guess). I mean for services and sites completely unrelated to nekked people, the things nekked people do, or you would reasonably expect would use skin as numbskull bait.

Can you guess what is being advertized in the example displayed above (details blurred out to generate suspense)?

Payment protection insurance claims solicitors in the United Kingdom! Seriously! A firm of presumably educated legal professionals! Professionals! And I’ve seen the same type of advertizing on the sidebar of gaming sites attempting to entice me to play a massively mutliplayer online strategy game of medieval city-building. Medieval city-building! Using what boils down to boobies to advertize.

This sort of thing really does make me wonder about humanity. I mean, I’m no prude. Not at all. But, this advertizing is just painfully pathetic if it actually works. I guess the solicitors are banking on men buried in debt seeing this chick and thinking they can get some of that humanahumana if only they could get back the money they paid to service their debt. That, and women that figure they could finance a boob job with a successful claim. Seriously people! Seriously!

Here is what the rest of that ad above looks like (contact details blurred out in order not to provide free advertizing to these idiots).

Sex Sells

Poptastic Day: “Singin’ In The Rain” (Not the horrible nonsense version)

I have to make this relatively quick today, so it’s a good thing that this travesty pretty much speaks for itself. From the BBC:

A remix of Singin’ in the Rain that was used by Britain’s Got Talent winner George Sampson has shot to number one in the UK singles chart. The song, best known as the title track in Gene Kelly’s 1952 film, was reworked by Manchester dance act Mint Royale.

Oh. Dear. God.

No, I will not give them anymore attention by posting that nonsense here. Is this a sign that Poptasticism is going over to the dark side? I’m sure you can find the Mint Royale version if you want to offend your ears badly enough. But come back here when you’re done and listen to the original. You’ll need it to cleanse your soul.

   Gene Kelly – Singin’ In The Rain

Big Fat Disappointment

Where the hell is Patrick Wolf?!?! I know the shortlist was announced almost two weeks ago but, yup, I’m still angry about this. Is the Mercury panel or whoever they are really trying to say that the Arctic Monkeys’ Favourite Worst Nightmare is more of an accomplishment than The Magic Position?! Oh, dear. I’ve said it before and, even through my irritation, I still even mean it – I have nothing against those Monkeys. But, dang, Patrick Wolf made an album unlike anything I have ever heard before (and far better than most things I have heard) and he’s not even shortlisted? I’m a fan of a bunch of the albums on the list, but none of them even come close to The Magic Position.

Wait a minute … Now that I’m thinking about it, where the hell is one of my other recent favorites, Pop Levi’s The Return To Form Black Magick Party?

I think we need a new prize, STAT.

   Patrick Wolf – Augustine
   Pop Levi – Dollar Bill Rock

Avril vs Rubinoos vs Rolling Stones vs Billy Ocean?

Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” is a cute and catchy song, but the lyrics are not so great. And by not so great I mean really really really reallyreallyreally bad. Then why? Why would you want to brag about the fact that you inspired these words, let alone sue the girl for stealing them from you?? Which is exactly what The Rubinoos did. As you may have heard they’re suing everybody’s favorite Canadian faux-rebel pop princess because they claim “Girlfriend” resembles their song “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” (not to be confused with The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be your Boyfriend”, for god’s sake).

   The Rubinoos – I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

After listening to the song all I have to say is, are they freaking kidding me with this?!? SO the chorus sounds a bit like Avril’s, but as long as they haven’t bought the rights to the line ‘Hey (hey) You (you)’ I don’t think they have even a smidge of a case. Avril’s crack team of lawyers pointed out that The Rolling Stones used the line lightyears before either of them came on the scene and you don’t hear them crying about it.

   The Rolling Stones – Get Off Of My Cloud

Let’s not forget Billy Ocean’s awesome use of the words in “Get Outta My Dreams (Get Into My Car)”, which – being a child of the eighties – is the first song that pops into my head when I think of the hey you line.

   Billy Ocean – Get Outta My Dreams (Get Into My Car)

Well, whatever the outcome I guess The Rubinoos win because before all this hoopla I had never, ever even heard of them. Not even a little bit.

A Grande Low-Fat Sir Maccachino, Please

Memory Almost Full

So you may have heard by now that Starbucks’ label Hear Music and Paul McCartney are in bed together. The Starbucks staff has had to listen to Sir Paul’s latest on a loop ALL day to promote the release. How special for them. I don’t get the whole Starbucks goes music enterprise anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good caramel latte as much as the next person, but since when are distributors of over-priced, flavored coffee experts on music? I wonder how long it’s gonna take for other chains to say if ‘Starbucks can do it, well gosh darned, so can we!’ Before you know it the Kings of fast food and popular horror novels – Burger and Stephen respectively – will combine their powers and put out a Double King special with a Whopper of a suspense novel. Or Madonna will promote her next tour at a popular Swedish clothing store … oh. Some might misinterpret this brilliant marketing move as a sign that music is indeed nothing more than another mass-produced product to be sold along side hot beverages and skinny-fit faded jeans. Of course they’d be wrong, it’s a soulful art that needs to reach the broadest audience possible so artists like Paul McCartney won’t starve.

One guy interviewed on CNN said that people were tired of going all the way to the music stores to buy CDs. That makes me sad. I wonder what it means as an artist when people can’t be bothered to pick up your albums unless it’s right there at the counter of their local coffeeshop. Anyway, you can now spruce up your coffee break with a banana bran muffin and Paul’s new CD Memory Almost Full.

   The White Stripes – One More Cup Of Coffee

Who Cares About The Basketball!

The Missing Basketball

Okay, whoever has the fucking basketball just give it back already.

Damn.

And, before this gets out of hand, no, the photo is the not the basketball in question.

West Memphis Three Awareness Day

Free The West Memphis Three

Today is West Memphis Three Awareness Day. Make yourself aware. Recent DNA testing – agreed with the prosecution after much wrangling – have resulted in developments said to be significant and could mean a new trial.

Learn more about the facts and news in the case at the West Memphis Three site and contribute to the WM3 Support Fund.

If you think it couldn’t happen to you – think again. It can. It has. It does.

   Black Flag – Rise Above